Innocence

These have to be original and genuine - no adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby
sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for
hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she
was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't
remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to
six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so
much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom
window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried
in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her
Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for
her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's
me?

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please
don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

TOD (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and
kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked
his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom
asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll
happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The
man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city
but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James
asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather
wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for awhile and then
asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular
Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended
toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without
you, we are but dust."
He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter
(who was listening!) Leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in
her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

MY SON

This is great, take a moment to read it, it will make your day!


The ending will surprise you.

Take my Son

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works
of art. They had everything in their collection, from
Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and
admire the great works of art.

When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to
war. He was very courageous and died in battle while
rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and
grieved deeply for his only son.

About a month later, just before Christmas, there was
a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door
with a large package in his hands.

He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier
for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives
that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a
bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly.
He often talked about you, and your love for art." The
young man held out this package. "I know this isn't
much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your
son would have wanted you to have this."

The father opened the package. It was a portrait of
his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at
the way the soldier had captured the personality of
his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to
the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He
thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the
picture. "Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your
son did for me. It's a gift."

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every
time visitors came to his home he took them to see the
portrait of his son before he showed them any of the
other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later. There was to be a
great auction of his paintings. Many influential
people gathered, excited over seeing the great
paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one
for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son. The
auctioneer pounded his gavel. "We will start the
bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for
this picture?"

There was silence.

Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, "We want
to see the famous paintings. Skip this one."

But the auctioneer persisted. "Will somebody bid for
this painting. Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?"

Another voice angrily. "We didn't come to see this
painting. We came to see the Van Goghs, the
Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids!"

But still the auctioneer continued. "The son! The son!
Who'll take the son?"

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room.
It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son.
"I'll give $10 for the painting." Being a poor man, it
was all he could afford.

"We have $10, who will bid $20?"

"Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters."

"$10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20?"

The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the
picture of the son.

They wanted the more worthy investments for their
collections.

The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once, twice,
SOLD for $10!"

A man sitting on the second row shouted, "Now let's
get on with the collection!"

The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, the
auction is over."

"What about the paintings?"

"I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this
auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the
will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation
until this time. Only the painting of the son would be
auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit
the entire estate, including the paintings.

The man who took the son gets everything!"

God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross.
Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: "The
son, the son, who'll take the son?"